Excerpt from our book
"The Family First Aid Kit For Meth Addiction". . .
Before long your isolation resembles the addict’s withdrawal from family, friends and acquaintances. Unable to answer their unasked questions, unable to explain the new lines in your face, the deepening bags beneath your eyes, or that tremor in your hands, you not only avoid eye contact with others, you avoid all others, you resent them for not having your problem, for making you feel guilt and shame for having your problem, for being unable to share the burden with anyone else because of the cloak of shame, the crown of thorns, the total despair associated with loving an abuser, an addict.
In the silence of the night, when the darkness in your bedroom surrounds you with chill regardless of the heat wave outside, as your ears strain for sounds from your loved one who’s not home yet; when he or she does come home they won’t be the one you know and love, but a stranger wearing their face, and you are left with only one question: “Why?”
You focus on the causes: what you did, didn’t do, could have done, shouldn’t have done, been there….tried, failed, and then tried again…only to look into those desperate eyes wondering when and where they can score again….just one more time, and then they’ll quit, “go into rehab and-this-time-it’ll-work, really, I promise. If only I can borrow the car, take your credit card, spot me a twenty…”
Finally you fall asleep…..only to dream of the body bag, the funeral, the grief. Looking into the grave site, it’s not their face you see, but your own…..
Stop!
Stop sharing their addiction.
Stop participating in their madness.
Stop beating yourself up.
It’s an illusion that your guilt will benefit them.
It won’t!
They can benefit themselves---with or without your help.
However, since you are reading this book, our assumption is that you do so in order to capture some understanding of the problem of crystal methamphetamine addiction and then take action to help your loved one help themselves.
In order for you to help your loved one:
• Learn all you can about the addiction
• Empower yourself with information
• Let go of the illusion you have any control over another person's behavior